Anything Goes
by PKAquaFlame
Summary: A one-shot book of musical proportions. The daily life of Smashers in song! Some oneshots might turn out to be AU. We shall see, because like the title says, anything goes. Chapter 3: Things take a dark, psychotic turn in this love song...
1. Anything Goes

Disclaimer: I own not Smash Brothers or any of the songs mentioned in this ambitious project. So you sue not or kill you I will!

Okay, so anyone who knows me very well would know that I love music, especially music of the Broadway caliber. So I'm gonna try to make a random oneshot book based on some of my favorite songs in general. (And trust me, I have a lot of favorites, not all of them Broadway.) If there's anything you want to see, tell me the song and I'll se if I can make a oneshot out of it.

Let the music commence!

* * *

Luigi was absolutely bored. His eyes scanned a volume of _The Darwin Awards _while he listened to his ipod. Every second, his eyelids seemed to be getting heavier. Who could blame him? He just came out of a Brawl with Kirby, Squirtle, and Pikachu.

...Hey, those little guys are fast by themselves! Put them together and you have a living hell!

But I digress: the plumber felt as though he was falling asleep. So he succumbed to his desire to sleep. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and..

"Hey, Luigi! Get up!"

Luigi's eyes snapped open. He was met with the sight of Takashi and Mario. There was something different about their attire, however...

"Are you wearing...sailor outfits?" he asked, standing up. Sure enough, Takashi and Mario were in white and blue sailor attire. Takashi nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course! C'mon, you of all people don't want to be late!" he exclaimed, tugging Luigi's arm. Mario grabbed the other arm, huffing as he tugged.

"Geez, bro! What'd ya eat for breakfast, cement?!" he asked as the two pulled Luigi to his feet and dragged him into the stage room, which was unusually empty, save for the rest of the male Smashers, also decked in sailor garb, Even Bowser had a sailor hat on.

"What's going on?" Luigi asked, looking around. "Why's everyone in sailor outfits?"

"It's karaoke night! Master Hand put it in as a new way for us to unwind. Each week we have a theme, and this week it's called Nautical Nonsense," Takashi replied.

"Why didn't you warn me?! I'm sticking out like a sore thumb!" Luigi exclaimed. To this Mario raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about, bro? You're wearing sailor garb, too!" he pointed out. Luigi looked at his outfit to see that his brother was right! Instead of his usual outfit, Luigi was decked in the same sailor attire as his comrades. He put a hand on his head in an attempt to calm the headache he knew was coming.

"Okay...So why are only the guys here? Where are the girls?" he asked.

"They're getting ready to put on a group performance," Takashi replied. The curtain opened to reveal Peach, Zelda, and Samus center stage, with Nana by the curtain.

_"Times have changed!" _Samus sang, giving the shocked audience a haughty smirk. _"And we've often rewound the clock...since the Puritans got a shock...when they landed on Plymouth Rock!"_

_"If today, any shock they should try to stem," Zelda_ continued, waving her hand in a dismissive manner. _"'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them~!" _

Peach came up, lifting her skirt up just a tad, while singing, _"In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now God knows...anything goes!" _

Nana nodded, adding, _"Good authors too, who once knew better words, now only use four letter words writing prose! Anything goes!"_

Luigi's jaw dropped. A tidal wave of questions hit him as he watched the song continue. Why were they singing _Anything Goes,_ of all songs? It was probably the _least _heard of song in Smash Manor! Luigi himself didn't hear about it until he saw Smashville perform the musical a month or so ago! Plus, he knew for a fact that Samus _hated _singing! That last thought was quelled with the following thought: she must've been bribed or blackmailed.

_"The world has gone mad today, and good's bad today," _Zelda started.

_"And black's white today, and day's night today," _Nana continued.

_"And most guy's today that women prize today are just silly gigolos!" _Samus finished, sending an obvious glare at Marth, who seemed to be enjoying the song. It was then that Luigi knew for sure that Samus was blackmailed.

_"And though I'm not a great romancer, I know that I'm bound to answer when you propose...anything goes!" _Peach finished as the girls jumped off the stage and proceeded to dance with everyone in the audience. Strangely enough, everyone was wearing tap shoes, so the guys who didn't have a partner started doing fancy tap moves!

It was then that Luigi's head started spinning. He knew that _nobody_ had taken tap lessons! So where did all of this come from?! _When_ will he get a real explanation for this insanity?!

_

* * *

_

Luigi's eyes snapped open when he felt something hit his side. He looked wildly around and saw that he was in the same couch in the living room that he came into after the Brawl. He saw Takashi and Ness pass by and saw that they were not wearing anything remotely nautical.

"Was it a dream?" he asked himself. He looked at his ipod, which was on pause. Someone must've paused it when they saw Luigi napping.

_Wonder what could've caused the dream?_ he thought, pressing play. He was greeted with the lyrics, _"When grandmama whose age is eighty in night clubs is getting matey with gigolo's, anything goes!"_

Luigi instantly paused the ipod. He slowly got up and walked towards the cafeteria.

_That's the **last **time I listen to the Anything Goes soundtrack - or Cole Porter in general - while trying to relax, _he thought to himself, putting his hand on his head.

* * *

Before you decide whether or not to review, keep in mind that it is one in the morning as I write this. Therefore, if you find things to be a bit off, please tell me and I will fix them with the utmost of haste.

(Added note: I took the time to do some minor editing (fixing some kinks and whatnot), so there shouldn't be anything off now. If I missed something - again - let me know.)


	2. Paparazzi

Disclaimer: I own not Smash Brothers or any of the songs mentioned in this ambitious project. So you sue not or kill you I will!

Thanks for the reviews! I hope that future oneshots turn out to be just as good as the last one! This is based on sentence number 49 on my fifty sentences oneshot _Don't Stop Believing_. Hope you enjoy!

Let the music continue! :D

* * *

Takashi opened his eyes to pink. A whole lot of pink.

His vision cleared and he saw that he was in one of the many bathrooms of Smash Manor. He went towards the door and turned the knob, only to that it was locked. He was trapped.

_How'd I end up here? _he thought. _Last thing I remember was Lucas offering me a candy bar..._

Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. He sputtered for a second, finally saying, "You can't trust _anyone_ in this place!"

Laughter came from behind the door. And the most vexing of all, there were two masterminds laughing from behind the door. One prankster tried to stifle his laughter, while the other said 'screw it' to holding in his laughter and let it all out.

"Ness...Lucas...let me out now," he growled.

"Oh, no! You haven't even _begun_ to feel the pain of our revenge!" Ness' voice came from behind the door. Lately the two had declared a prank wara. It started when Takashi used the hand-buzzer trick on Ness. Ness had retaliated with the whoopee cushion trick, and Takashi gave him a hot-sauce filled chocolate egg. Hence the 'revenge'.

Takashi pounded the door with his fists.

"Why, Lucas? I thought you were neutral territory!" Takashi complained.

"S-Sorry, Takashi..." Lucas replied.

"He got tired of the prank war and decided to help me! He even thought of the other part of this little plot!" Ness boasted.

"You...d-don't have to s-say it...like that," Lucas told Ness when Takashi blinked.

"Wait a second...other part?" he asked.

"Yep! Lucas, press the button!" Ness said, cackling as the shy blond did so. Takashi blinked in confusion until he heard the song come on from the nearby speakers.

_We are the crowd_  
_We're c-coming out_  
_Got my flash on, it's true_  
_Need that picture of you_  
_It's so magical_  
_We'd be so fantastico..._

Takashi twitched. Several times. It was no secret that Takashi absolutely _hated_ Lady Gaga's songs. Ness must've gotten a hold of Peach's Lady Gaga CDs!

"Ness, you very well KNOW that I HATE these idiotic SONGS! Let me OUT!" he yelled, pounding the door with his fists. He tried to drown out the idiotic songs by plugging his ears and lalalaing to his heart's content. The stupid song just would not stop.

Little did he know, Ness and Lucas had already left the scene.

"Mission accomplished!" Ness said proudly. Lucas seemed scared.

"N-Ness...wh-what do you think w-will h-happen...when T-Takashi comes out?" he asked. Ness waved the question off.

"Don't worry too much about it, Luke. You're a mastermind! I never would have thought of making a CD of all these songs to play on the CD player! We'll think of something," he said, pulling Lucas into a one-arm hug.

_A few hours later..._

"Finally! It looks like the Lady Gaga songs are over! Now I can regain my sanity!" Takashi exclaimed when it seemed like the millionth Lady Gaga song was wrapping up. He sighed in relief at the silence. Then...

_Show me the meaning of being lonely..._

_**"FOR CHRISSAKES, NESS!"**_

_A few MORE hours later, in the dining room..._

"Hey, guys! You know where Takashi is?" Link asked everyone. "He promised to spar with me and Pit in Final Destination tonight. We're thinking he forgot."

"I don't think he forgot. He probably pissed off the wrong Smasher," Snake replied, gesturing towards Ness. The black-haired psychic snickered, and Lucas gave an amused smile.

"I always knew that Lucas would be involved sooner or later..." Link said, sighing at the PSI user's reaction.

"So, can we expect to find him in his room?" Pit asked. Ness shook his head.

"He's in one of the bathrooms. That's all I'm going to tell you," Ness said, smirking.

By the time Takashi was found, he was huddled in the bathtub, trying to drown out the music with a nearby towel. The only thought that ran through Link's mind was this..._How the hell did Ness and Lucas think of **this?**_

* * *

Poor Takashi. For some reason I just like to torture him. See _High School Never Ends_ for more details.

The locked in the bathroom thing was partly based on a true story. No, I wasn't pranked. Yes, the bathroom was very, very pink. And no, there were no Lady Gaga or Backstreet Boys songs involved (although I did have _They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-haa_ stuck in my head.).

Please review and tell me of any kinks I left out. :)


	3. Psychotic Love Song or yandelenka

Disclaimer: I own _**nothing.**_

So_ yandelenka_ is insanely addicting. I freaking love that song. Sooo...here's a chapter based on said Vocaloid song.

_**WARNING! This is obviously AU. And considering the song this is based off of, this is EXTREMELY DARK! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**_

Edited note: I found lyrics on AnimeLyrics(dot) com, and found them to be a little more reliable than the ones I found on YouTube. So I edited the lyrics. Meh._**  
**_

On with the fic! :D

* * *

_(the sky is gray, and the weather is ominous, just like my heart, the same as my heart) _

The sky was full of gray clouds, and he could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. It was raining, and he felt the cold drops pounding against his skin and face.

He didn't care, really. The weather seemed to fit his state of mind: cloudy, gray, and troubled.

He didn't know if he was crying or not. Quite frankly, he didn't want to know.

The rain has to stop. He wants the rain to stop, otherwise he wouldn't be sure what to do. He could break down, but he didn't know how many more tears he would cry, or if he would cry any at all.

But no matter how hard it rained, or how hard he cried, nothing would wipe the blood off his hands.

He was cold.

_(it's deeply grazing my heart, almost like a dangerous weapon (...do you understand?))_

It wasn't always like this.

He was cheerful, once. He had his friends and rivals...everything that was a part of being a Smasher.

On that level, there was_ her_.

Every day, she would smile that smile of hers and greet him, asking him how his day was. He loved seeing that smile directed at him. He felt special whenever he saw that smile.

But he wasn't the only one that smile was for. He knew that smile was no more than a greeting, and it hurt.

She gave that smile to everyone...Ness, Lucas, Nana, Popo, her friends from her hometown...and him.

_Especially him._

She would always smile at him, but it wasn't the same smile she would send him. She would smile at him like some lovestruck schoolgirl.

It was strange...

He always loved her smiles before...but now he hated seeing them. If he would manage it, he'd rather she never smiled again.

Why?

_(stop, stop! my heart, stop! if i go on like this i'll eventually disappear!)_

He couldn't sleep.

All he could do was stare up at the stark white ceiling while sleep eluded him. Thoughts raced in his head, all of them concerning him and him...and her.

It was psychotic. Those thoughts seemed so vivid, so realistic...that all sense of who **he** was seemed to disappear. All that **he** seemed to be aware of was her smile and his aching heart.

Hearing something, he yelped, jumping in his bed. This caused his roommate (Luigi) to jerk awake.

"Who? What?" he asked, looking around.

"Did you say something?" **He** frantically asked. Luigi raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, no...something wrong?" he asked.

"I...I guess I had a bad dream," **he** replied. The green-clad Italian accepted that answer and tucked himself back to bed.

**He **had no idea what was going on. If Luigi didn't say anything, and they were the only ones in the room, then who...?

The voice seemed to accompany those thoughts, anyway, so maybe...

_"I love you..."_

**_'Oh? Then what are you so scared of?'_**

_(how strange, that i should love you to death...it's scary)_**_  
_**

Days passed.

The more he observed the relationship between her and him, the more thoughts seemed to plant themselves into his head. They all involved blood, screaming...and her. Strangely, he wasn't involved in those thoughts anymore. All that mattered now was her.

And the voice always came in his mind...whispering, torturing, _mocking_.

**_'You love her, right?'_**

**_'She doesn't return your affections...poor, silly boy!'_**

**_'If you can't have her, why should anybody else?'_**

He bit his lip, trying to resist the thoughts. He wouldn't do it, he couldn't do it! He didn't want to!

On the other hand...

He wanted the thoughts to stop. He wanted the maddening voices to just shut up. And if they would stop...

**_'Maybe you should just finish it.'_**

Something snapped at that thought. He dragged himself out of bed and calmly made his way towards the door. Luigi woke up again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked. "You're acting weirder than Mario did when we tried to cut him off of Mushrooms."

"I'm fine," **he** said dully. "I just need the bathroom."

And with that, he left the room.

_(stop, stop! my heartbeat, stop! this annoying heart that's beating restlessly)_

He had to do it.

That last voice was what did it. Snapped any self-restraint he had, so all that was left was this blooming, impulsive darkness that controlled his every move.

He knew where she would be at this time of night. She'd be in the library, reading or working on some kind of paper.

Alone.

Everyone else was in their room, either sleeping or studying. Nobody would be able to hear.

Sure enough, he found her in the library, reading. She was so into the book she was reading she didn't notice that he was there until he slunk over to her, hugging her from behind. She yelped before seeing who it was.

"Oh, it's you," she said, smiling. "You scared me for a bit."

His eyes narrowed at that smile. He hated it so much...

The next few events were a blur. All he was aware of was soft skin in his hand, screaming, soft and ragged sobs...and finally, a loud BANG!

When he came to, there was a strong metallic scent in the air. He was aware of blood in his hands and the heavy weight of a gun in his right hand. And there was her, slumped on the floor. Clothes torn and motionless, with a single gunshot wound to the head.

Everything seemed to come into sharp relief as the memories flooded back.

He got on his knees, observing the body in front of him. Soulless eyes stared back at him, and reflected in those pools he could see himself. He didn't see the normal reflection he saw in the mirror. He saw someone who was a murderer, a possible molester...

He saw someone who was insane.

With a loud cry, he clutched the body to him as he sobbed into her shoulder.

_(what i see is complete redness, so painful...HELP!)_

He had no idea how much time had passed since then.

Had someone discovered the body? Maybe. Smash University was relatively small.

Would somebody connect the murder to him? Luigi might. You never know with him.

He'd surely be put on trial. Perhaps he can plead not guilty on grounds of insanity.

Truthfully, he didn't really care anymore. It might have been insanely obsessive, but he did love her. And he had killed her.

He couldn't live anymore. He was done.

He put the gun against his head, a sorrowful smile gracing his face.

BANG!

* * *

Oh. My. GOD! I'm not sure what to say about this chapter! I mean, I liked writing it, but I haven't written anything this dark since _Blossoming Sin_!

...On the other hand, this kind of writing would be good if I needed something for my Psych class...

The main pairing is more or less to your imagination.

What'd you think? Remember, good reviews make and author happy. Flames make one sad.


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